I have to start off by offering my apologies. I wasn’t with you last week.
My life took a rather hectic turn and when I looked up it was Thursday morning, 8:00 a.m. and no way I could make a broadcast deadline of 11:10 a.m. Internally, I was devastated and wrought with beating myself up because I, E.R. Spaulding, had missed a deadline. I debated for 30 minutes whether or not I could write a piece before The Joule Report was supposed to drop into your inbox. I knew I could, it would be tight, but at what cost? Would it be my best joules? Would it serve you in the highest form possible? It would also mean I could not make a board meeting at 9:00 a.m.
Decisions. Decisions. What would I do?
I chose to evolve.
You see, the old me would have felt so guilty and shamed about not living up to a goal I set for myself that I would have pushed back the board meeting and feverishly wrote until my fingers bled in order to be my own trumped up version of perfection. I would have patted myself on the back for being superwoman and the rest of my day would have occurred in “catch-up mode” as everything would have been behind schedule by at least 2.5 hours.
Last week I chose to stretch and breathe. I chose to love myself. I chose to be lenient with myself. I chose to be truer to who I aspire to be as an ascended version of myself which leads us to today’s discussion of understanding you are constantly shifting and you must understand the power behind this evolution as it is the cornerstone of self-reinvention.
Rome Was Not Built In a Day.
Rome was not built in a day and neither will you. Reinvention can be as much a practice in patience as it is a relay to the finish line. You must give yourself time to achieve your goals and achieving your goals will require practice.
Last week I had to practice leniency with myself. For those who fall into the category of perfectionism with me, you understand this is not an easy task. Not only was it a practice in not beating myself up. It was a practice in allowing myself to be openly vulnerable and allow you to see that I AM NOT PERFECT! Whoa – I have to breathe for a moment. That was even difficult to type. My life has always been about showing my best side and now I am sharing with you parts of myself rarely, if ever seen. I am fallible.
You may want to learn a new language so you can live in a foreign country. It will require practice. I don’t care how many Rosetta Stone or Pimsleur testimonials state you can learn a language in 6 weeks, it will require practice.
You may want to quit your job and start your own company. Buckle up, grab a mentor, and be ready to practice. There are no overnight successes; it’s a climb to the top and in some months it feels as if you are going nowhere even though you keep receiving fresh scars to prove you are in motion.
Keep moving, keep practicing, and one day you will look up as I did a different version of yourself — a reinvented version of yourself. A version that you designed.
To Thine Own Self Be True
In order to reinvent yourself you must really know who you are. This may be the hardest task to achieve because we tend to see ourselves while looking through rose colored glasses. Honest assessment of where you currently stand is the only way to plan for the future you want to create.
Do you want to travel the world and learn different styles of dance like I do? I see myself moving in rhythmic motion performing the Brazilian Martial Art Dance style of Capoeira. However, I also have done a true assessment and know my L5 disc in my lower back is compressed. While it will not prevent me from learning and performing this aggressive dance style, there will be some extensive prep work with my chiropractor before, during, and after in order for me to perform the way I envision myself performing and still be able to walk for the remainder of my life.
You may want to be a public speaker and stand before stadium-filled audiences. However, if you cannot effectively tell a story which captivates an audience longer than 5 minutes you may want to take classes in the art of storytelling to improve your skills.
There are not many things in life which are impossible to achieve, but you must have an honest foundation of where you are in order to plot where you want to go.
Making Brick Without Straw
Many of us are familiar with story of the Israelites enslaved by the Pharaoh of Egypt. While Moses was in the midst of arbitrating with Pharaoh for the Israelite release from bondage, Pharaoh declared the Israelites would no longer receive straw to make their brick. They must forage for their own straw and keep up their daily brick quota. When they were unable to keep up with their quota they were beaten by the slave drivers. They went and appealed to Pharaoh who showed no sympathy and called them lazy. Later the Israelites accosted Moses and Aaron stating they were the reason Pharaoh was displeased with them.
Unfortunately, we have a tendency to believe that when our future shows up the best version of ourselves will show up also.
The Israelites could see a future outside of bondage, but when faced with an opportunity that seemed impossible, they reverted to the familiar bondage mentality. Moses could see a future where he led his people out of bondage, but when the Israelites confronted him he turned to God and questioned his appointment.
We tell ourselves constantly we are ready for change, we are ready for the next big opportunity, but when it arrives can we honestly make brick without straw?
In order to answer in the affirmative we must
- Understand reinvention is a practice, not a performance;
- Know who we are because we have accurately assessed our starting point and plotted the end destination; and
- Recognize when the future appears to be uncertain we have the ability to call forth from within the power to make brick without straw.
Reinvention is never easy because comfort is well — comfortable, predictable, and oh so familiar.
Last week I got a huge dose of how uncomfortable reinvention can be. My reinvention of myself is to be gentler and kinder with myself in the face of my flaws. I appreciate each of you for standing in the space of self-forgiveness with me. I truly did want to be with you last week, but if I had pushed myself to make it happen, then my reinvention practice would have been stunted.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
It is my fervent desire that part one of the reinvention process for 2016 has helped put some things into perspective for you. Please let me know by commenting below. I’ll see you with part two next week.
